So, how is it that people like Cesar Milan can instantly quell the unwanted behaviours of an out of control dog? To be sure, there are some elements of TV magic involved, but in truth, he is merely giving the dog exactly what it wants. And while it may be hard to hear this, your dog needs and desires that stern attention.

Of course, I do not mean you should punish your dog. There is a very definite difference between asserting dominance and punishment. Punishment shames your dog because they did not behave as you expect them to behave. If you never taught them their role in the pack and how they are expected to behave, it is unfair and can exacerbate those bad behaviours. On the other hand, if you simply assert your role over your dog, they will understand that you have a higher social standing, and will slowly learn to accept the commands you give.

When you don’t show dominant leadership behaviours over your dog, your dog compensates or attempts to take that control themselves. Dogs with aggressive, alpha personalities will often end up ruling the house themselves, refusing to behave and making life miserable for anyone that gets in their way. Meek, submissive dogs may act out in other ways, by chewing up items around your home, making messes, or barking excessively.

Finally, you should know that there is no in-between for dogs. Everything is very black and white for them in terms of leadership. So, when you start working toward asserting your dominance, you need to do it all in. You cannot waver, make exceptions because they’ve been “really good” or take a break from asserting the dominant behaviour that a dog needs to see in their owner. You’re either a follower or a leader, and you need to be the leader.